where does the pee come out of this thing
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
