"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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