do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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