idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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