ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
