I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
