I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
