dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
