I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
