he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
