I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
my poor anus
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
