We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
