the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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