Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
