you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
