I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
