she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
