The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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