We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
