NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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