i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
