i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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