you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
