I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
