I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
