i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize