using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
