I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i came on her dog
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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