I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
