We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Randomize
