Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
