I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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