Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
