Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
