just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
