Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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