You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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