You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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