new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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