dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
