You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
