She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
