Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
