Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
