I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
