lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
