how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
