drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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