i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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