What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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