i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
