Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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